Coming to America, Part II

The time in the US came and went like a whirlwind. We always look forward to the time in which we can see friends and family, and once we are there, it seems that we somehow get busier than ever and not get to see all the folks we would've loved to spend time with. Here are a couple of things we did get to do.

See and enjoy family. This is a true treat for us. We had not been able to see a lot of our family for a long time. In past years, we had been able to go to the beach with most of Roy's family in the summers, but as both our family has grown, and the rest of his family grows and gets busier (three college kids!), plus the fact that I couldn't travel this past summer because my visa had expired, had just made it impossible to see everyone. Well, we got to have Christmas over and over again, seeing all of our US immediate family. The boys had a blast hanging out with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. We got to spend a couple of days with Roy's older sister and her family who had come into town to spend Christmas. After that, we got to go to Charleston and spend a few days there, mainly visiting Roy's brother and his family. Also, we got to see my aunt and my cousin and her family, who also live there. Time with grandma and grandpa every day was a fun adventure for the boys. We got to see grandpa in action at the Y-Sail project he leads.

We all enjoyed seeing the boats grandpa builds with kids

See and enjoy friends. We got to see a lot of friends. It always feels as if we didn't have time to see everybody we wanted to see, and we are always grateful for the chances we get to catch up with friends who make room in their busy schedules for seeing us. We had the chance to have an evening dessert get-together, and we truly enjoyed the time to meet people who make it possible for us to do our ministries. Our plans to travel and visit friends in Raleigh were hindered by the snow storm that hit the East coast toward the end of our trip. It is always a challenge to keep in touch and strengthen friendships when being far away, and we wish we could be closer more often, but we are also excited to be part of what the Lord is doing in other countries that are not 'home'.

Looking forward to the next time we get to come back! We'll see what it's like to travel with 3 under 4 next time...

Coming to America, Part I

We went to the States in late December, and we wanted to share a few highlights of our trip there.

5:00 am at the airport, getting ready to go to the US!

Traveling with small children is hard. Should be no surprise here, but as a parent who has traveled quite a bit, I fell into the illusion that we had somewhat gotten this figured out. No. Wake up and smell the puke from the kid who gets sick as you land during the first flight. Got a potty-trained kid? Good for you. Caveat: once you deplane, there are no bathrooms until you go through customs. That's an average of one to two hours, after a four hour flight during which your kid was too busy watching all the Sesame Street videos you could get on your phone to go potty. At least you can walk it off, right? Maybe next time we will remember to bring the stroller, because walking around with a three-year old, a two-year old, and a 30-week pregnant mama was not our idea of fun family bonding time. At least we made it back! We flew out one day after a major snow storm had shut down airports during the weekend.

Four days before going to the States...

Aside from the challenges of traveling, being about a month outside of our normal surroundings was hard for the kids. We are really lucky to be able to base out of grandma and grandpa's house. They are terrific with the kiddos (and us, too). The tricky thing was that these Caribbean boys are used to spending most of their day barefoot and outside. That becomes a little hard when you're in the middle of winter. So, cabin fever was a common occurrence, and I think the McDonald's with the indoor playground considered giving us a frequent customer card.

Four days before coming back...

Tough as it was being inside longer than usual, the boys got to see snow for the first time! This was David's wish for weeks. At some point, before Christmas, we had watched a movie where there was snow. So, he kept asking for it, and I said maybe when we go to the States there will be some... And sure enough, there was plenty of it to get a first taste of winter fun. 

Mama and Papa got to travel alone! For the first time ever, the husband and I got to travel together at the same time without the kiddos. I had traveled, he had, but not the two of us at the same time - not even for an overnight. So, we did what smart really conscientious parents would do: left cold turkey for an entire week. Kids stayed with grandparents, and we got to attend the Young Life Celebration, which is the conference YL organizes every four years for their US staff, and this year we got to celebrate 75 years of the ministry. It was truly a treat. We got to hear great speakers who challenged us in our walk with Christ. Roy got to meet with folks about the next steps to continue development at Pico. We got to see and spend time with old good friends. And finally, even in the midst of workshops and sessions, the husband and I got to spend some sort of a baby moon before #3 arrives.

There were plenty more amazing things we got to do, hoping to write more about that later!

The Bad, The Ugly, and The You've-Got-to-be-Kidding Me

It has been a while since I sat down and took the time to write something. Many things have happened in our family. Even though, it has been really exciting and fun to have a multicultural family, the paperwork part of it really slammed us in the face this fall. After waiting for the proper paperwork for my Dominican residency to come from Guatemala, we found out that because of changes in the law, I now was unable to proceed without traveling back to Guatemala to request a residency visa. My stomach sank as I heard the immigration officer explain this to me. I felt like all that we had worked for during the year had been worthless. I felt really stupid. How had we missed this really important fact along the way? We were trying to do things right, why hadn't it paid off? Why this NOW?

As I was processing all of this information, a verse I had learned as a child came to mind, "The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him." (Habakkuk 2:20). I was definitely not an immigration expert, but the Lord hadn't stopped being God. Here I was in the middle of something that felt overwhelming, yet there was an invitation to recognize His presence with us in it.

David wanted to wear his "Planes" hat for the flight.

After what seemed a whirlwind of weighing options, we moved a trip we had planned for Christmas to mid September. The whole family was able to go to Guatemala. I was really excited to go to Guatemala with the whole gang.

I was also scared. There was too much turmoil in my heart, and I wasn't sure I was ready to face Guatemala. This is a place where I can no longer shy away from hard things. It never leaves my heart unscathed; in fact, I don't think I can ever be in Guatemala without a shattered heart. I was able to live there for the first twenty-something years of my life pretty oblivious to the hard things around me and within me, but I had the incredible gift of being invited into a community that looked at the hard, the nasty, the broken, the lost, and rejoiced in Christ's presence in all of it.

Guatemala will always have plenty of hard, if you're willing to open your eyes and heart to take it all in. However, I had some additional hard to go into - my brother was battling cancer. He had found out during the summer, and by the time we got there he was getting ready to start his third cycle of chemo. He and I had shared the experience of caring for mom when she went through it. I don't think it had (or it fully has yet) sunk in that this guy under thirty was having to go through that, and I was not there to be with him. The ministry that I had worked with during the years before moving had gone through some really hard times and leadership crisis. All my dear friends were now gone, and hurting.

Getting some ice cream with tio Pablo.

So, we got there. We got there in the middle of all that. Guatemala welcomed us with the news that one of my old club kids and dear friend had been killed in a landslide. He worked scavenging at the city dump. With the heavy rains, every year, a lot of people who work at the dump die buried in landslides. They found his body a couple of days later, miles downstream of a river. His brother was able to ID him because of a tattoo. Toward the end of our trip, a whole mountain side gave in, and an entire community was buried. Over two hundred houses were buried in mud. About three hundred people died and many were never found.

Second day - still not warmed up to tio Joel

I hear the prophet asking, "Who has believed our message... He was despised and rejected... a man of suffering, and familiar with pain." (Isaiah 53:1-3). This is Christ. He is Emmanuel, God with us, in the middle of all of the hard, and terrible. The truly hard. The daily-life hard. Because who can really believe this message? Who can believe that it is not always necessary to run away from the nasty, but that God himself has chosen to walk through it with us?

Last Friday I cried for a long time. I was under the stress of a deadline, our nanny was not here because her daughter was sick, and my backup babysitters were all at the same retreat. And I was mean. I was mean to my sons while I was trying to juggle them and a computer. And I saw myself - the real ugly self, the I am selfish and let my anger have the best of me self - and I was disappointed and felt lonely. I thought of calling my brother, with whom I've learned to not shy away from the ugly, but I was too embarrassed to share that being a mom was too hard right now.

To my surprise, later that afternoon, he called me saying "hey, if I don't call you right now, I never will. How are you doing?" And so, among many things, I told him about my morning. And we had a great conversation about the subject that we cannot skip the hard seasons of life. Jesus' gift to us is not that he can just "make everything better." His gift to us it that He IS with us. Can we believe it? Can we believe the message that even in the midst of the hard, and the pain of our own sin, Christ wants to be with us? Can we dare come before this God who first came to us?

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

Favorite Photos from Summer Outreach Camps 2015

Following are some of our favorite photos from outreach camps at Pico Escondido this year.

 

Camp Five Campers & Leaders

Camp Six campers and leaders

Pool Games

Field Games

More Field Games

What would YL camp be without crazy program characters?

Games at Club

Camp Two Campers & Leaders

Work crew welcoming kids to camp

Fun at our County Fair

Final night bonfire in the amphitheater

 

 

Here's To Less Than Perfect Sabbaths

I have been trying to be really intentional about planning and keeping a day of rest as a family. With changing schedules and little kids, sometimes it feels rather a beautiful illusion, but something that cannot easily be accomplished. So, when yesterday the husband suggested a little hike to the river and a picnic, I got really excited about the idea - what could be better? A hike, time in nature, time as family, rest?

And then, we started getting ready. For the next half hour, I yelled at my kids as I tried to get them to pick up toys and books before we left. I got so angry about noticing the little things that were out of place in my house, and I got frustrated with myself about the fact that I hadn't done this or that before.

Finally, we all got in the car, swimsuits on. The husband thought that we could buy some roasted pork along the way, since that's a Dominican Sunday tradition. Seemed like a great idea to do pork sandwiches, so I packed bread, chips, apples, and water.

And then, we drove and drove. Never found a pork stand along the way. They really are usually every couple of blocks on Sundays, but not a single one to be found. We stopped at a little Colmado (store) along the road, looking for some cheese, and they only had cheese for frying, which the boys won't eat.

Further down the road, it suddenly hit me: I never packed the shoes for the boys. I asked the husband, he didn't either. So, there we were, on our way to a hike, with two barefoot kiddos. As we were driving, I started thinking about all the things that were less than ideal in this situation, but that as frustrated as I was, all these things were not the most important thing - this day was to remember the Lord, and his work, to point each other to Him, and we were together.

I started thinking how this was similar to our life in community as brothers and sisters. Sometimes, being together seems like a very hard task. Sometimes, there is someone who really gets on our nerves, and we cannot do much to avoid their presence. And sometimes, that means we are in this journey with zero excitement, like the toddler here, who got reprimanded for thirty minutes straight before finally being strapped in.

Sometimes, you don't have all the resources you would like to have on your journey together. And it becomes easy to dwell on the things you are missing, and start blaming yourself and others, for lack of planning and foresight, or for someone having been wasteful. But here's the beauty of community - Sometimes, not having all you need, means you get to carry each other.

Although, that may mean that you have to carry the person who drove you crazy all morning, and you have to let the person who was less than patient with you carry you (Note: you don't necessarily have to smile while being carried).

Or, it also means that you have to really do things you dislike, to get to the destination - like my sand-hating kid over here, just taking one step at a time.

And as you continue walking, you may find yourself surprised with the scenery. Something about knowing that you are on your way to fresh river water in the middle of a hot sunny day, helps you keep going. So, no, you don't suddenly find yourself with more things - we still just had bread and chips, but the company and surroundings were more beautiful and fulfilling than what we could have had.

And we found some of our favorite things along the road...

And finally, we got to the long awaited river! We all enjoyed getting in the water and throwing some rocks, and making big splashes.

On the way back, we were surprised by both boys trying to climb a big rock. To us, it seemed something beyond their skill, but the husband only had to spot them and point at places where they could set their feet. They did the work themselves. They cannot do it completely alone, yet. They also would not have had a chance to try out their climbing skills had we not come. And so, it also happens with our journey as followers of the Crucified. We are to strive in the midst of new challenges, and support each other as we do so. If we would choose the easy way of not even trying to go and be together, we would miss these chances of growing together.

Isn't this what we are called to as a body? Are we not to come together as family to the River of Life? Even when it's hard work, even when there is that someone who can get our blood boiling, and we would rather take a time-out from them than go on a hike together, and even when we don't have all the things we may have needed or wanted for the journey. And on our way, let's enjoy the beauty of creation and the beauty of communion and of being together. Because, Christ paid dearly with His life for us to have a chance to become one with each other.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting each other, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10:24-25

Challenges of Serving in Love

This summer at Pico Escondido was a whirlwind. Summers always are, but this more than most. We completed two major construction projects this spring and summer, including our new pool, which we did in under two months. That, plus lots of work teams and local groups in June and early July meant that by the beginning of outreach camps on July 9th the Pico Escondido team was already worn out. Our local ministry team (Vida Joven) had projected having six camps of about 135 kids and leaders plus 30-35 assigned team and work crew. Sounded great. 

We knew that we would have some new challenges. First, we hosted the first ever Latin America Family Camp for families in the US who wanted to take their kids on an international service experience and learn more about Young Life's ministry in Latin America. This would be sandwiched between two outreach camps, which generally run Thursday to Sunday. We also knew that the sixth outreach camp (one more than last year) instead of occurring at the end of the summer would also be sandwiched between other camps. We had planned for these events. Yet when all was said and done, instead of averaging 135 kids and leaders, we averaged 184. The biggest week we had 260 people in camp. We have 185 permanent beds, so this makes for some operational challenges, especially since we never knew how many kids would show up until a couple of hours before they arrived! And in the end, over 1100 kids and leaders attended camp. This was 60% more than our previous high.

I was generally very proud of how our team took on these challenges. They understand that youth ministry, especially in a culture like the DR, is one of many surprises. More importantly, they understand that we are all part of one body in Christ, striving toward the same goal. That means that Vida Joven's focus is reaching out to and loving kids around the country, regardless of whether the kids are responsible in signing up for camp on time. That means it is very hard to tell a kid he can't go to camp because he is late when you know how badly he needs this camp and to be confronted with the Gospel. It also means that Vida Joven needs people like our camp staff - people who may be less gifted at discipling kids, but who are great at handling the logistics and administrative details of camps. 

In 1 Corinthians 12, it says: "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body." This is followed up in chapter 13 about different ways we try to serve, recognizing that love is the thing that gives value to all the rest. So for our camp staff, we could have the best camp in the world and we could be amazing organizers and planners, but if we don't bathe it all in love, we are a clanging cymbal. Love never fails. This summer, we were not perfect at loving, but thank you Pico staff and volunteers for having this focus!

Mother's Day

 Ah... mothering; there really is no time where you are off. I type at the same time I have a who-can-stare-the-longest-into-the-other's-eyes standoff with the 16-month-old who just grabbed a phone charger at the same time he whispered "no, no, no..."

I wake up today to an over-excited two-and-a-half year old screaming "Happy mother's day, mama!" Lucky for him, his dad has a cup of coffee already in hand. Smart man I married. The youngest doesn't really know what to say, but he copies his older brother's enthusiasm and screams "mama! mama! mama!"I start getting ready, deciding it's a good day to take the extra time to paint my toenails. So, with both boys on the floor, I start painting my toenails. They watch me, mesmerized. I hear a "mama, do mine too!"

At some point, all of the nail polish bottles are out of the drawer. I decide to choose my battle, and stick to getting job number one done, and then deal with 'what have I said about opening mama's drawer and pulling stuff out?' later. From what I hear and sort of see out of the corner of my eye, a careful lineup of bottles is now decorating the footrest of my bed. It's not until I walk out of the bathroom that I see that the kid has carefully balanced each bottle on its top.

It doesn't take long til bottle number six doesn't quite make it. It tumbles down and shatters as it hits the floor. Glass everywhere, and little brother now has a hand covered in light pink enamel. At least this happened after I finished with my nails, I think; and at least nobody got cut. I hand off the boys to the brother who is visiting. Clean up the mess... There really is no time off.

Motherhood... I have met my match. I have always been a really good apprentice; if I like the subject at hand, I will dive in until I perfect it. In Spanish, the term is dominar - to dominate, to master something. There is no mastering this motherhood thing. You can only live it out, every day. It's pure steadfastness. Constancy. Faithfulness. Even when the previous day left you feeling like you really cannot face tomorrow. Even when the previous day was so good that you feel it can't be duplicated.

Even when it rips your heart. Even when your own kid is dying. I am sitting at my grandmother's table. I have just taken mom to her bed. We've come back from a doctor's appointment. It has been discouraging. Grandma and I sit in silence. We used to sit at this table, the three of us, and share coffee and stories. But now, the two of us sit and eat (and cry) in silence. There's not much to say. Her daughter is dying, and she can't do anything to stop it. She will bury her daughter, and after that will take care of her children after she's gone.

Even when you face the unknown. Even when you are the one getting ready to leave your children behind, sooner than you had expected. I am in mom's hospital room now. It suddenly has become very clear that this is her last day, and despite the thirty years I have had her, it feels awfully short. I am full of questions. I have always assumed she will be there when I get engaged, when I get married, when I have kids, and the realization that she won't hits me hard and fast. My first question is "Why? Why must I be the one without a mom from now on?" She says, "I don't know." And I weep. I weep in my mother's lap. And she runs her fingers through my hair, and she lets me mourn her death.

I hear my mother's voice sometimes. I hear it, as I am rocking an angry wailing boy in full tantrum. She says, "the kid who is hardest to love is the kid who needs it the most." I miss them. I miss these two ladies who loved children. I miss these two teachers of children. Their ideas would sure come in handy now.

After she lets me cry for a while, I wipe my tears, and I figure that if time is short, I might as well ask the questions I've never asked before. So, I say, "What should I do when I have my own children? Who will help me figure it out?" And mom whispers, "Jesus will. That's all there is to it really. Ask Him every day, and He will let you know."

... And He has. And He will.