Teachers of What's Good

A long time ago, I read for the first time the following verses in Titus 2:3-5.

³ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴ Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

My initial reaction as a young woman myself was of contempt. I thought, 'here goes another verse people will use to say women are just trouble, some excuse to keep us under control, right?' Is that what older women have to put up with, a preaching about drinking and talking? How original. And was my future, as a young woman, cut out for me? Was I to look forward to the task of loving husband and children, and be self-controlled, pure and the more offensive to me, busy at home? Over the years, I would from time to time stumble upon the verse, and I would still roll my eyes. 

Then I started hanging out with teenagers. It was through those friendships that I started to open my eyes and heart to those verses. I saw the pain, suffering, brokenness that the lack of role models described above brought to the lives of the kids I was hanging out with. I thought about this verse again this past month, after meeting yet another young girl who at fourteen was having to figure out life on her own.

I'm not saying fathers are off the hook here and that women are to blame for all teenagers in need, but the girls that I hang out with have been seriously affected by the lack of a healthy mother figure. Some of my friends have grown up abandoned by alcoholic or drug addict mothers. Most of my friends find it hard to live in places where slandering and backstabbing by the older women of their community is the daily bread (sometimes to the point of costing somebody their life). And some of my friends have found themselves about to be mothers in their teenage years.

In the midst of all that mess, I have met some courageous women who have decided to walk with teenage girls and love them, and become teachers of what is good. Some of these women have decided to walk alongside teen moms. Most of them are ladies who have raised children of their own and understand that you can't do it alone, that the nights are long, and that you need role models of good to teach you how to do this thing called motherhood. Others are single women who have a heart of teenage girls and can see how hard it is to be a teen and a mom as well.

My courageous friends are both in Costa Rica and in Guatemala. They go with girls to pregnancy checkups. They go check them out of the hospital when no other family member will. They have enlisted their husbands, children, siblings as drivers and babysitters. They teach their teenage friends how to help their babies breastfeed. They go to birthday parties. They also get to be there for some of life's deepest pains - a baby who dies, a custody battle that is lost. 

YoungLives mentors in Guatemala City

YoungLives mentors in Costa Rica

They also invite their friends to know Christ and start a journey of faith, that will not only impact the girls' lives but also the lives of their children. Tomorrow, there will be 27 Costa Rican girls going to a YoungLives camp, to have the best weekend of their lives, and to hear about Jesus' love for them. There will also be 28 babies and toddlers, and a fearless crew of 17 childcare workers among the team who are so excited that their friends get to have this time away and hear the Good News. So, join me in praying for this crowd.

Girls and leaders at their 2014 Christmas party. Most of them will go to camp tomorrow

Time goes by, and now I find myself a woman with husband and children, responsible for keeping a home. And now, I know... It is hard to be self-controlled. It is hard to be kind. It is hard to not indulge in things that bring comfort. It is hard to not be critical of other women. And I am ever so grateful for those teachers of good things who gave me so much over the years and who continue helping me along the way. I would be ill equipped without them. I realize how crucial it is to have someone older and wiser walk through life with you. So, if you are a young woman, I encourage you to find a mentor. If you are a more mature woman, I encourage you to find someone to mentor. If you would like to learn more about YoungLives, click here.
 

Our Most Recent Trip to Costa Rica

Daniel watching planes at the Panama airport

It is a Wednesday afternoon, and I am packed and ready to drive to get on a plane with my 14-month-old. It is our first trip of the year, fifth work trip together. Expert in traveling with a toddler that I am, I am very proud of my ability to fit all of his junk and all of my junk in a carry-on. I even have my flat iron to do my hair (because since I never use it at home, somehow I am convinced that at someone else's house, in between work sessions, I will magically find the time to finally get my unruly mane under control). I am planning on checking the bag, nonetheless, because I still haven't figured out how to pull a suitcase and push a stroller.

We get checked-in, and I kiss the husband goodbye. For some reason, it looks like things have changed. Usually, they let us women with babies go first, but not this time. I have to wait in line like all the other mortals, pushing the baby. Finally we made it to the window where I have to pay my exit tax. I pay, not without almost passing out because the fee has tripled since my last trip. I finally make it to the security checkpoint. And then, I start the process. With the baby in the stroller, I pull my computer out and place it in a bin. Then, I take shoes off and whatever else I must put on the other bin. I then place the baby on the belt, fold the stroller, and place my bag. It is at this point that the security guard tells me, "m'am, you can't be on this end... you must move to the other line." Contrary to wisdom, instead of just complying with what an airport security agent tells me, the cumulative stress and frustration of two years of dealing with baby stuff, comes out and I just reply. "NO I WON'T". And he says "you must go through the other line. " And I reply, "I'M NOT MOVING ALL MY STUFF." We argue for a couple minutes, and I find out they have one line for men and one for women, because there is only one woman security agent that could check me. So, I leave all my stuff there, and walk through the other gate.

Daniel being pampered at the tia abuela's house

All hassle aside, we made it to the plane and arrived in San Jose at almost midnight our time. I stayed at my cousin's house, and got to spend the next day with family. I got to meet the newest member of that clan, baby Sofi, and I had a lot of fun chatting it up after dinner with my aunt and cousins. This is one of the perks of traveling to a city where I have family. I have been going to Costa Rica for the last two years, about twice a year, and it has been amazing to be able to have a little family time. I love that the boys have gotten a little abuelita love from my aunt there.

The next morning, we drove up to the regional director's house for meetings for the next three days. It was a time of sharing what miracles we had seen God do during 2014. It was a time of sharing about how ministry is going in each country. It was a time to start praying about the future and how do we move forward with the mission of reaching teenagers. We got to go to a local club one night, and then the next night we got to be part of a day camp that the Camp on Wheels had set up for one of the communities. What an exciting thing to see hundreds of teenagers having fun with their friends and getting a chance to hear the gospel.

Dreaming and planning

We left at 1:45 am on Monday morning, to catch our 4:30 flight. I was not looking forward to spending four hours at the airport with a baby, but we made it. Our flight home was delayed an hour, since they had to do some repairs, but both baby and mom were so tired, that I think we did not notice and slept the whole time. At last, we were home and we spent last week settling back in, retaking our routine, and planning for the next adventure that comes in two weeks! So, stayed tuned for the next trip.