Why I Think I'm Becoming A Toddler

For years we've known that whenever a group of women live together, eventually, their periods will get in sync - which makes it for a really fun time when everyone in the house is PMSing together. I was unaware of this reality since I grew up surrounded by boys, but after four years of dorm life in college and five years with roommates, I can say that this has proven to be true.

I have been living in close proximity to a toddler for the last ten months, and as I take a close look at my daily life, I think I am becoming one. Here's an honest look at the striking similarities I find between my 21-month-old and my 34-year-old self.



I am not a morning person, and I need my morning fix. Every morning, the kid wakes up before I do (enter husband). But when I make my morning appearance, his first words are "Mama!... Tetita!(boob)". I hear you kid. When I roll out of bed I think something similar. "Roy... COFFEE!" And it doesn't matter what people are saying, what questions are being asked, and whatever pressing needs or distractions I find every morning, I also wanna say "coffee! coffee! coffee!" until I am contently sipping that cup of joe. And Lord help you if you dare come in between or delay me from getting to that french press.

I have hair, I don't know what to do with it, and it doesn't know what to do with itself.  Seriously. I cut it because things were not working out and I still have a major post-pregnancy hair loss, but there's still plenty of it. The kid finally has hair. It's now everywhere. I found him frantically taking it off his forehead, to no avail, a few days back. It's also... unstylable, and it looks just perfect right out of the bath - for five minutes.

Whenever I accidentally get my hands dirty with life's messes, I unconsciously lick my fingers to clean them off. Which is exactly how I can tell you what Desitin tastes like.

Short attention span. These days, it seems that the only way I can guarantee my full attention is if we are making direct eye contact. If not, say my name followed by "look at me..." It has a 78% success rate in our house (altough you may need to repeat the process a few times before it works).

My love language is FOOD. So, yes, I also open and close the fridge about 68 times every day, either looking for something to 'hit the spot,' or because I wish its contents have improved since the last time, or because I just forgot what was in it two minutes ago (see above paragraph.) I also don't feel hunger until five minutes before any meal is ready, at which point I'm suddenly aware of how much I need to eat  Right Then... Or else. And, I get over excited about mangoes. Like too much. I dislike the fact that you have to peel them, and the only reason I cut them up is because I will not be sharing my mango with worms. All this to say, we have five, FIVE, loaded mango trees in our yard. Welcome, summertime. And crackers. And cheese. And peanut butter. And pasta.

I love reading the same story over and over again. I have some books that I read every year, just because I really enjoyed them the first time. There's just a simple pleasure in a story well told.

Finally, I seem to be able to break the unbreakable. Tarvis cups? We've already taken two out. The things that have lasted in other people's hands for decades? Gone in a week.

If you relate with any of this, you might be a toddler too. Enjoy it. It's also a stage of amazement and discovery... just don't take it out on the little guy.