Of Baby Detergent and Life...

I read this week a funny quote that alluded to the fact that marriage is pretty much saying 'I was just about to do that chore...' I laughed, because I have pulled that one on the husband rather too often. I have been wanting to sit and write for a while, but despite having many things that I would like to share, and then life sort of just takes over. I sit down, and there's no Internet. I sit down, a kid cries. I sit down, I fall asleep. The last couple months seem like a blur... Maybe because I used the same pair of contact lenses for three months.

Many things have happened since we welcomed our daughter. She is doing great, and her brothers are still very excited to have her and have become sweet caretakers. Brother #1 is still very smitten, and now has realized he can make her smile and laugh. Brother #2 has realized jumping around her head when she's in bed and smacking her face with his shoes wasn't fun the first time, and it still isn't; he is now also working hard to make her smile - as in pulling her lips with his fingers. Beside hanging out with my little peeps, I have been given great opportunities to fellowship with some amazing folks.

A few years back, my friend Katie started a playgroup with a few of us moms in town. She also started leading La Leche League, and I have been able to witness the way she is ministering to new moms, and how she has enabled all of us to build this loving community of support - it is amazing. My other friend Katie has worked really hard creating aquaponics systems for one of the schools in town. It is just really fun to hear the stories of these ladies' ministry, and share with them the joys and burdens of our communities. Our kids play together. We sip coffee. My friend Charo and I get together every so often to talk about ministry and life, to share about what the Lord is inviting us to do, to pray. I cannot say enough about how much them and a lot of other ladies in this town have been such a lifeline for me.

Charo and I at a wedding

Some of my friends in Central America got to travel and visit Young Life friends in a different country. Six people ended up coming to spend time with staff here in the DR, and this was one of the highlights of the season for me. I get to see these friends every week on a video conference, but to be able to see them, hug them, hear their stories, share a meal, have them meet and play with my children - this was a true treat for me.

Enrique, from Panama, and baby girl.

Pili from Costa Rica

One of my favorite things has also been to continue mentoring my college friends who are Young Life leaders. We've figured out that hanging out after kid's bedtime is a doable thing for us all. So, we've enjoyed some fun nights of just sharing life, questions, games of Sequence, our love for Christ and the struggles and joys of following Him. The aches and hilarity of inviting friends to meet Jesus.

Mis hijas...

As I look at all these friendships that surround me, I get glimpses of the Kingdom. My mama friends who have given me encouragement and support in this adventure of mothering and who challenge me to be faithful to my calling. My Young Life friends throughout the region who motivate me to get creative and think of ways in which we can make sure we are able to reach the next kid, the next community, the next city. My younger friends in Jarabacoa, who are courageous and continue seeking kids out in communities where there is little hope for them. I am grateful for the good fellowship. I am grateful, because each one in their own way, points me to Christ. I catch a whiff of Him, and I long for more.

Not long ago, I couldn't make a trip to the city, so I couldn't find the baby detergent I usually get. I ended up purchasing a different brand. When I opened it, the smell overtook me. I quickly remembered this was the first detergent I used when the first kid was born. Smells can be such powerful memory triggers. Suddenly, the memories of that season were all coming back - what it felt like to be a new mom, working around the house wearing my new baby, the sweetness of him... And I wanted to stay there, if only for a few more minutes - to go back in time and see my sweet baby boy again, to hold his little face, to snuggle him a bit. And it hit me: This is who we are to each other in Christ. The apostle Paul tells us that we are the aroma of Christ. To each other, we are this memory trigger of who He is and what life with Him is like...

May we leave each other longing for more of Him.

Spring Work Teams and Projects 2016

Work at Pico Escondido

Spring 2016

One of my favorite quotes about Pico Escondido was told to me by a friend who runs Logos Christian School in Santo Domingo. He said "Most camps in the Dominican Republic get worse every time I go, but Pico Escondido just keeps getting better". They have been bringing students every year for over ten years now. One of the reasons Pico keeps improving is our work team program, in which volunteers from the US come for for a week or so and help both at camp and in different Vida Joven (Young Life) direct ministry areas. That enables us to do a lot more than we would otherwise be able to do.

Our main projects this Spring have been to make the main entrance to camp more functional and attractive, improve the pool area, and create a hiking trail to the upper corner of our property. Below are some of our favorite photos of our volunteers working on these projects. They are organized by project, with a brief description of each project.

Camp Entrance Improvements
The number of people coming to Pico has increased, and most groups prefer to unload in front of our camp office. Yet the sidewalk was not made to handle 100 people getting off buses at the same time. It was only wide enough for one person to walk. So this year we are widening the sidewalk to enable large groups to transition more smoothly. There are also nice slate benches that are nearing completion. These details combined with bathrooms that are accessible from the outside of our offices and finishing the wall along the road in front of camp are combining to make for a much more welcoming arrival for groups.

 

 

Pool Area Improvements
We built our pool itself in the Spring of 2015 with a very limited budget. This year we are doing significant projects to improve safety, usability, and comfort. Includes bathrooms, fence around pool, and a gazebo and rooftop terrace overlooking the pool and playing field.We have gotten rave reviews so far.

Trail to the top of camp 
This was a result of a request from our field staff. They wanted a trail as an additional activity they could do with kids at camp. As of the beginning of April, we have completed the trail itself and flat areas at the top. Work teams progressed far faster than we expected. Thanks, Spring work teams! The trail makes a loop and in most parts is wide enough for two people to walk side by side. It begins and ends at our challenge course. 

When You Can't Be There...

Another day has gone by, and as evening comes, I am left looking back at the different things that happened during the day. It has been a hard day with three little ones. One of the hardest things is to watch two very active little boys while sitting down and nursing a baby, thinking 'This is it. He will crack his head, and I won't be able to stop it because I can't just drop the baby in my arms'.

But I don't want to relive it all; it was pretty draining the first time. So, I start thinking about all the things that did not happen during the day. That phone call I didn't make. The stroll around the neighborhood I never got around to. I think specifically about the places I did not make it to today. Things that I didn't partake in. I have missed some things, some really important things. A couple of days after baby girl was born, our beloved nanny, Yudi, lost her mom to a long battle with cancer. For the last year and a half, she has come every day to help me watch my kiddos in the morning while I work, and she has become my dear friend. And I couldn't be with her for the wake or burial of her mother. Not being there was hard, specially because it is a pain I myself have gone through.

As I took some time today to check emails and Facebook, I also saw the different things that would be part of my daily routine, and well, I felt left-out. I saw pictures of the work team that's in Panama right now. I wish I could be there. I wish at least that I could be constantly checking on how the team is doing. I saw pictures of the work teams at Pico, and I was disappointed knowing that this spring we won't be hosting anyone for dinner at our house. I like to be where the action is happening. Right now, if I may be honest, doing puzzles, and reading the same book again, playing Go Fish, and changing my shirt (again) after yet another spit up don't feel like being or going anywhere. In a futile attempt to feel like I had somewhere to be, somewhere to do, I filled out my dry erase calendar for the next four weeks: Palm Sunday. Easter. My Birthday. Pretty booked.

As I do dishes after dinner, I remember what I read this morning. The story of Lazarus' death. And I see it from a perspective I had never seen it before. Jesus also wasn't there when it happened! Jesus missed his friend's death! He missed the burial. He wasn't there on time to heal him or help out with anything at first. The story doesn't even tell us what He did during those days. The only insight we are given is that Jesus was with the disciples, and He also knew that the reason for these events was for God, for the Son to be glorified. And at the end of the story, we are all left like the crowd, totally perplexed by His divinity and His humanity so vividly displayed.

And so, I look at myself during this season. I may not be able to be in certain places or events. But I am with those I need to be with. And through me being with these little folks I can still bring Glory to God. Christ can be glorified while I am with my children, and as I show them how to believe in Him and follow Him.

A Baby Girl Is Born

The day started just like any other. It was my first day officially off the radar. I sat down with a big pile of books the boys had torn and tackled my first project - paste covers, tape torn pages. The boys and I sat in the front porch, getting really warm really quick. It was a sunny bright beautiful Caribbean day. So, we took it easy. We fixed one book; we read one book. And the morning passed. After lunch, I felt really tired. Daniel fell asleep, and I just let David watch as many back to back episodes of Daniel Tiger as he wanted, and I napped.

Later in the afternoon, as I was starting to work on dinner, I felt contractions. They were not painful, but they were pretty consistent and sort of had a pattern. I grew a little anxious. I wanted to know for sure if this was it. I went ahead and called my doula, Yda, who told me to call my doctor, who told me "you're an experienced mom, so you can know if this is it or not. I'm in the delivery room if you just want to come  in." Thanks doc, I really had no clue. 

I did not know what to do. I wanted it to be it. I wanted to know for certain. Was this all real? Was it all in my head? What if I just wanted to have my baby so bad I was making this all up? What if it was real and then I wouldn't make it to the hospital in the end? Yda and I sat in the living room, which she prepped to be only candlelit, and timed contractions - 6 minutes apart. And then, suddenly, I felt exhausted. I wanted to go to bed right then and there, which seemed so weird to me given that it was only 9 pm, and I don't ever get sleepy before midnight. So, I went to lay down, thinking "well... I'm gonna lay down, and it's all gonna go away, and then Yda is gonna have to go home." I later found out that while I was laying down, she told my brother "we need to get ready for a homebirth. This might go really quick."

Suddenly, as I was resting, contractions became painful. I stayed in bed for another 20 minutes or so, and they picked up, fast. Suddenly we were seeing them come in at 3-4 minute intervals, and it became very obvious we all needed to get in the car ASAP.  So, we called the doctor, and started our one hour drive to the hospital. By the time I got to the hospital at 11:45 pm, contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. They were painful, but short and manageable. And then, they couldn't pick up a stable heart rate for the baby. So, as things grew in pain, they also grew in worry, and I was still trying to set my mind ready for a long night of laboring, still somewhat not convinced I was going to have a baby that evening. The heart rate was a little erratic, but the doctor said that since I was already in active labor, if it progressed quickly, we could proceed. If it looked like it would take too long, a c-section was gonna be necessary. But things progressed. A little over an hour later, this huge painful wave hit me. And into the delivery room I went.

Suddenly, I found myself screaming "I can't do this!" And Roy, the doctor, and Yda screaming back "There comes the head!" So, twenty minutes after going into the delivery room, I had a baby! Not even two hours after making it to the hospital. I still couldn't believe it! The first thing I asked was "IS IT A GIRL?" Because, you know... We've been getting ready for one, but there was just one ultrasound that confirmed that, so... just saying. And so arrived Elena Grace, with 7lbs. 10 oz, at 1:37 am, on February 26.

It was all very quick, and we were in our room by 2:30 am. A nurse came in at 5:30 to check on me. I wanted a bacon cheeseburger. She left some tylenol. The doctor stopped by at around 10:30 am and said I was ready for release after the pediatrician came and checked on Elena. We were on our way home by 2pm, after clearing all paperwork. Some friends had taken the boys out for ice cream, so we got home and the husband had lunch with the brother. About twenty minutes later, we got to introduce baby sister to two very excited and quickly taken older brothers. Both David and Daniel have spent the last two days kissing her every time they get a chance, and the biggest challenge has been to have them let her sleep. Both baby and mama are doing well, and we are starting to enjoy and get a glimpse of what life might be with our new little girl.

Coming to America, Part II

The time in the US came and went like a whirlwind. We always look forward to the time in which we can see friends and family, and once we are there, it seems that we somehow get busier than ever and not get to see all the folks we would've loved to spend time with. Here are a couple of things we did get to do.

See and enjoy family. This is a true treat for us. We had not been able to see a lot of our family for a long time. In past years, we had been able to go to the beach with most of Roy's family in the summers, but as both our family has grown, and the rest of his family grows and gets busier (three college kids!), plus the fact that I couldn't travel this past summer because my visa had expired, had just made it impossible to see everyone. Well, we got to have Christmas over and over again, seeing all of our US immediate family. The boys had a blast hanging out with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. We got to spend a couple of days with Roy's older sister and her family who had come into town to spend Christmas. After that, we got to go to Charleston and spend a few days there, mainly visiting Roy's brother and his family. Also, we got to see my aunt and my cousin and her family, who also live there. Time with grandma and grandpa every day was a fun adventure for the boys. We got to see grandpa in action at the Y-Sail project he leads.

We all enjoyed seeing the boats grandpa builds with kids

See and enjoy friends. We got to see a lot of friends. It always feels as if we didn't have time to see everybody we wanted to see, and we are always grateful for the chances we get to catch up with friends who make room in their busy schedules for seeing us. We had the chance to have an evening dessert get-together, and we truly enjoyed the time to meet people who make it possible for us to do our ministries. Our plans to travel and visit friends in Raleigh were hindered by the snow storm that hit the East coast toward the end of our trip. It is always a challenge to keep in touch and strengthen friendships when being far away, and we wish we could be closer more often, but we are also excited to be part of what the Lord is doing in other countries that are not 'home'.

Looking forward to the next time we get to come back! We'll see what it's like to travel with 3 under 4 next time...

Coming to America, Part I

We went to the States in late December, and we wanted to share a few highlights of our trip there.

5:00 am at the airport, getting ready to go to the US!

Traveling with small children is hard. Should be no surprise here, but as a parent who has traveled quite a bit, I fell into the illusion that we had somewhat gotten this figured out. No. Wake up and smell the puke from the kid who gets sick as you land during the first flight. Got a potty-trained kid? Good for you. Caveat: once you deplane, there are no bathrooms until you go through customs. That's an average of one to two hours, after a four hour flight during which your kid was too busy watching all the Sesame Street videos you could get on your phone to go potty. At least you can walk it off, right? Maybe next time we will remember to bring the stroller, because walking around with a three-year old, a two-year old, and a 30-week pregnant mama was not our idea of fun family bonding time. At least we made it back! We flew out one day after a major snow storm had shut down airports during the weekend.

Four days before going to the States...

Aside from the challenges of traveling, being about a month outside of our normal surroundings was hard for the kids. We are really lucky to be able to base out of grandma and grandpa's house. They are terrific with the kiddos (and us, too). The tricky thing was that these Caribbean boys are used to spending most of their day barefoot and outside. That becomes a little hard when you're in the middle of winter. So, cabin fever was a common occurrence, and I think the McDonald's with the indoor playground considered giving us a frequent customer card.

Four days before coming back...

Tough as it was being inside longer than usual, the boys got to see snow for the first time! This was David's wish for weeks. At some point, before Christmas, we had watched a movie where there was snow. So, he kept asking for it, and I said maybe when we go to the States there will be some... And sure enough, there was plenty of it to get a first taste of winter fun. 

Mama and Papa got to travel alone! For the first time ever, the husband and I got to travel together at the same time without the kiddos. I had traveled, he had, but not the two of us at the same time - not even for an overnight. So, we did what smart really conscientious parents would do: left cold turkey for an entire week. Kids stayed with grandparents, and we got to attend the Young Life Celebration, which is the conference YL organizes every four years for their US staff, and this year we got to celebrate 75 years of the ministry. It was truly a treat. We got to hear great speakers who challenged us in our walk with Christ. Roy got to meet with folks about the next steps to continue development at Pico. We got to see and spend time with old good friends. And finally, even in the midst of workshops and sessions, the husband and I got to spend some sort of a baby moon before #3 arrives.

There were plenty more amazing things we got to do, hoping to write more about that later!

The Bad, The Ugly, and The You've-Got-to-be-Kidding Me

It has been a while since I sat down and took the time to write something. Many things have happened in our family. Even though, it has been really exciting and fun to have a multicultural family, the paperwork part of it really slammed us in the face this fall. After waiting for the proper paperwork for my Dominican residency to come from Guatemala, we found out that because of changes in the law, I now was unable to proceed without traveling back to Guatemala to request a residency visa. My stomach sank as I heard the immigration officer explain this to me. I felt like all that we had worked for during the year had been worthless. I felt really stupid. How had we missed this really important fact along the way? We were trying to do things right, why hadn't it paid off? Why this NOW?

As I was processing all of this information, a verse I had learned as a child came to mind, "The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him." (Habakkuk 2:20). I was definitely not an immigration expert, but the Lord hadn't stopped being God. Here I was in the middle of something that felt overwhelming, yet there was an invitation to recognize His presence with us in it.

David wanted to wear his "Planes" hat for the flight.

After what seemed a whirlwind of weighing options, we moved a trip we had planned for Christmas to mid September. The whole family was able to go to Guatemala. I was really excited to go to Guatemala with the whole gang.

I was also scared. There was too much turmoil in my heart, and I wasn't sure I was ready to face Guatemala. This is a place where I can no longer shy away from hard things. It never leaves my heart unscathed; in fact, I don't think I can ever be in Guatemala without a shattered heart. I was able to live there for the first twenty-something years of my life pretty oblivious to the hard things around me and within me, but I had the incredible gift of being invited into a community that looked at the hard, the nasty, the broken, the lost, and rejoiced in Christ's presence in all of it.

Guatemala will always have plenty of hard, if you're willing to open your eyes and heart to take it all in. However, I had some additional hard to go into - my brother was battling cancer. He had found out during the summer, and by the time we got there he was getting ready to start his third cycle of chemo. He and I had shared the experience of caring for mom when she went through it. I don't think it had (or it fully has yet) sunk in that this guy under thirty was having to go through that, and I was not there to be with him. The ministry that I had worked with during the years before moving had gone through some really hard times and leadership crisis. All my dear friends were now gone, and hurting.

Getting some ice cream with tio Pablo.

So, we got there. We got there in the middle of all that. Guatemala welcomed us with the news that one of my old club kids and dear friend had been killed in a landslide. He worked scavenging at the city dump. With the heavy rains, every year, a lot of people who work at the dump die buried in landslides. They found his body a couple of days later, miles downstream of a river. His brother was able to ID him because of a tattoo. Toward the end of our trip, a whole mountain side gave in, and an entire community was buried. Over two hundred houses were buried in mud. About three hundred people died and many were never found.

Second day - still not warmed up to tio Joel

I hear the prophet asking, "Who has believed our message... He was despised and rejected... a man of suffering, and familiar with pain." (Isaiah 53:1-3). This is Christ. He is Emmanuel, God with us, in the middle of all of the hard, and terrible. The truly hard. The daily-life hard. Because who can really believe this message? Who can believe that it is not always necessary to run away from the nasty, but that God himself has chosen to walk through it with us?

Last Friday I cried for a long time. I was under the stress of a deadline, our nanny was not here because her daughter was sick, and my backup babysitters were all at the same retreat. And I was mean. I was mean to my sons while I was trying to juggle them and a computer. And I saw myself - the real ugly self, the I am selfish and let my anger have the best of me self - and I was disappointed and felt lonely. I thought of calling my brother, with whom I've learned to not shy away from the ugly, but I was too embarrassed to share that being a mom was too hard right now.

To my surprise, later that afternoon, he called me saying "hey, if I don't call you right now, I never will. How are you doing?" And so, among many things, I told him about my morning. And we had a great conversation about the subject that we cannot skip the hard seasons of life. Jesus' gift to us is not that he can just "make everything better." His gift to us it that He IS with us. Can we believe it? Can we believe the message that even in the midst of the hard, and the pain of our own sin, Christ wants to be with us? Can we dare come before this God who first came to us?

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16